Thankyou for the chocolates

I am sure they seemed like the perfect gift
the present you give when you don’t know people that well

They are so tempting
cherry soft centre
turkish delight
peppermint
laced in chocolate
with traces of cashew and macademia

Everybody loves chocolate

but I’ve discovered
once I have one I have to have another
which is terrible for my battle with weight
and what’s worse they’re the surest way to give
stomach cramps
constipation
and migraines
and super migraines if there are cashews
and they have taught me

This is what it’s like to be addicted
to that which only causes pain

and so it is I think of
mystery stories
‘death by chocolate’
and sorry Mr Gump’s mum
my life can’t be a box of chocolates

So next time
can you please gift
me real blueberries or strawberries
without any chocolate coating
my life is…