i am sorry
my lost one
that choosing a name for you has taken so long
it’s just we had to find it for you
when we were swimming in the butterfly tears
i thought
i knew it before you were born
but we you were here and gone so soon
the name we’d picked didn’t seem to fit you
not just right
i thought we needed a name
that said something about
where you were going
and where you came from
perhaps two names side by side
to keep each other company
so it was that Nevaeh
meaning heaven came into my mind
and then Tuwa from Hopi
meaning Earth
i wish you could have felt the earth
beneath your bare feet
just once
so you could remember it
so my little butterfly girl
Tuwa Nevaeh
may your flight
from earth to heaven
be a flight from the cocoon…
No personal memories have I
only the memory of my son loving watching your games
on television.
He knows all your stats
and history as young Aussie cricketers tend to do.
On the day you passed the storms came suddenly
and hailstone the size of cricket balls
fell in the city that we lived.
I waited for my family to return
safely from abandoned cricket training
and mourned for your mother, father, brother and sister.
My memory of hospital waiting rooms
and intensive care still vivid after all these years.
My brother who loved sport
spent years in recovery
from head injuries
went from wheel chair to walking
from no speech to talking
I could sense what might lie ahead for your family
but your’s was a different fate.
The tributes for you flow
from cricketers the world over
young and old
England to India captains to team…
This one goes out to all of my readers making decisions at cross roads of their lives. I am doing a lot of planning this week, after a friend asked me some questions about what I wanted to do with my writing and how I was going to do it. I am taking a deep breath and then moving to the pathways!
I am picking out a path
to navigate my life
standing at the mid point
wanting to move forward.
I am looking to within
through the dreams that
I still have.
North, South, East, West
which way is best?
I am searching for some focus
reflecting where
the confirmations blossom
and the path only dead ends
Or perhaps needs a push down
of the walls.
Birthdays come and go
people come and go
but the constants
love, compassion, wisdom?
stay in my journey’s pocket.
I reflect
on the paths not taken
and those still beckoning
on the ways
to unpack my fears
to make the journeys
of my dreams.
gumboots girl – by June Perkins 
June Paisa Perkins